I have had my fair share of relationships so far. At the age of 27 I had about 12 of them. Some lasted only 2 weeks, others lasted 2 years. Sometimes I ended them, sometimes the other party did. You might find that number quite a lot by the way – or maybe not at all. I have been judged about it by some exes, but now I don’t care anymore.
I have learned from each and every relationship and know now more than ever what I want and need and more importantly: what I don’t want at all. Relationships can either give you energy, or drain you completely. This time – I think I met someone very special. I am a chronic overthinker, I just can’t help myself from (over)analysing things. I panic way too easily and let the made up scenario’s in my head get to me. I realise this very well, but it is so hard to stop.
Anyway, the point I was getting to is that Vittorio is so much different from all the relationships I have had so far. My last couple of boyfriends I met through online dating because I believed that this was a perfect way of getting to know each other online and see if you are a good match. I think it is only now that I fully realise what a distorted image that can give you. Someone can pretend to be all they want online and write the nicest things, but be completely different when you are in a relationship with them.
If I met Vittorio online – which would not be much likely since he lived in Amsterdam – I am not sure we would have gotten to the point where we are now. I don’t know. We are pretty different types of people with different intrests. I am very extraverted, he is more introverted. He likes to read about more ‘intelligent’ stuff where I lose myself in a brainless novel or a good (auto)biography. He loves history where I barely can remember anything I ever learned. I am emotional where he is super rational.
Again, the differences scared me (and honestly still scare me sometimes). But I also realised that these differences might just be how we complete each other. He calms me down where I can make him more extraverted. I am the planner where he is disorganized. He can teach me about history and I can teach him more about emotions and communication.
But the love we share… It is so reassuring. He took the time to read me, get to know and understand me. And I did the same with him. Where at first I was very suspicious about getting hurt again that I tested his loyalty so much. I checked his phone (not proud of that) but I had to know he was honest. After knowing each other for 2 years now, I feel this calmness that I haven’t felt for a very long time.
Even though at first he might not be what I was looking for, he turned out to be everything I need.
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